September 14, 2008

Excuse me while I whine

"New Post"...those words have intimidated me for two weeks. I haven't known what to write, so I haven't even surfed over to my own blog in over ten days. How weird is that? It looks like I have it together more or less, but stupid little insecurities nag at me constantly. Things like:
  • Am I giving my boys enough GOOD mommy time, or am I letting them watch too much TV/DVDs so I can tend to Hope or get some housework done? Yes, I tend to my children's needs, but they deserve more than just the meal, bath, and bedtime book.
  • I don't put Hope on her tummy often enough. Am I remembering to smile and talk to her, or am I too preoccupied as I change her diaper and direct the boy-traffic going on all around me?
  • I don't take enough pictures. I NEVER remember to take any video. We don't even have a photo of all five of us together yet.
  • We can't seem to get to church two consecutive weekends in a row, at least not all of us. How do all those other families do it? How do they get THEIR kids to behave?
  • Don't even get me started on the physical insecurities (double chin and thick waist, anyone?).

My logical self knows how blessed we are with a happy, healthy family, great marriage, wonderful extended family, and successful careers. So why are there so many insecurities running through my head? Is it a female thing? Is it just me? Am I just phasing back into PMS again after a 18 months of pregancy and breastfeeding? I don't know.


TBRKO said...

I hear you. That's about all I can say, but I hear you. I imagine I will be feeling your pain even more in the coming weeks...

ABCDH said...

Yes!! I feel the same insecurities - especially about the quality time with the kids!
Juggling this 3rd one has been a challenge for sure.

Erin said...

It's reassuring just to hear that you both get it and feel it, too.