Excuse me while I whine

"New Post"...those words have intimidated me for two weeks. I haven't known what to write, so I haven't even surfed over to my own blog in over ten days. How weird is that? It looks like I have it together more or less, but stupid little insecurities nag at me constantly. Things like:

• Am I giving my boys enough GOOD mommy time, or am I letting them watch too much TV/DVDs so I can tend to Hope or get some housework done? Yes, I tend to my children's needs, but they deserve more than just the meal, bath, and bedtime book.
• I don't put Hope on her tummy often enough. Am I remembering to smile and talk to her, or am I too preoccupied as I change her diaper and direct the boy-traffic going on all around me?
• I don't take enough pictures. I NEVER remember to take any video. We don't even have a photo of all five of us together yet.
• We can't seem to get to church two consecutive weekends in a row, at least not all of us. How do all those other families do it? How do they get THEIR kids to behave?
• Don't even get me started on the physical insecurities (double chin and thick waist, anyone?).

My logical self knows how blessed we are with a happy, healthy family, great marriage, wonderful extended family, and successful careers. So why are there so many insecurities running through my head? Is it a female thing? Is it just me? Am I just phasing back into PMS again after a 18 months of pregancy and breastfeeding? I don't know.

Our First Days

We had our first days of school last week. Ross and I began the year at MSUM on Monday, Aug 25. He's in the 2-3 year old room this year and loves it. I really treasure our walk to campus every morning. It allows me to slow down from the hectic pace of the morning and enjoy Ross's company...his dimpled little hand in mine, his fascination with his surroundings, and the way he notices the little things, like squirrels, sticks, bugs, and airplanes.

Grant and Kris started school in Fargo last Thursday. My oldest babe is in first grade! It's very odd to know that he is now the age of the children I used to teach. He seems to like his teacher, his class, and his new school--Lincoln Elementary. He walks to school each morning with the neighbor kids across the street.

They're keeping Kris booked solid at middle school--between teaching, leading his teaching team this year, staff meetings, PLC (Professional Learning Community) meetings, and volleyball coaching, he barely gets time to breathe from 7:45 to 5pm. I must confess, I am thankful that although I am busy at work, I have pockets of time throughout the day to gather my thoughts alone in my office.